A couple of professional opportunities have come my way
recently and my instinct was to let them pass.
However, my husband is not so thrilled about it. He is concerned because 1.) It is completely
out of character; and 2.) I have worked so hard to get where I am, why quit
now? He feels like I should be chomping
at the bit to get to the next level.
After all, I am the one touting how playing big is so important. Even though I have explained I am not
quitting, just reprioritizing for a little while, he still seems a little
concerned that somehow I am stuck or settling for less than I deserve.
While I am certain this is not the case, I think it is a
good idea to take a step back for a minute and make sure that my decisions are
being made out of intention and not fear.
Taking this year to really get to know me and get past the
issues holding me back is certainly a decision made of intention. This is something I truly feel if I pass on
it now I will never do it. For the first
time in my life, I also believe I am worth this investment. This fact alone makes me want to guard this
whole process fiercely. But, does that
honestly mean that I have to turn away from opportunities that arise during the
first few months of my year?
For instance, what could be my dream job was just posted in
Massachusetts. When I first read the
post, it was like fireworks and a parade exploded onto my screen. However, a couple of things hit me pretty
quickly that implied my initial reaction may have been wrong. First, it is a leadership position with a
consortium organization, so I would be doing a lot of paperwork and
delegating-not the creative professional development design I first thought to
be the case. Next, I would need to move
almost 2 hours north and even then, the two offices I would be commuting back
and forth between are over an hour apart.
The money would be amazing-IF I was given the higher end of
the pay scale. With my experience and
skills I know I could negotiate at least a mid-point, but I highly doubt they
intend on giving anyone the high end right out of the gate. But, money is not what I am most concerned
with right now. I know, I know. I can’t believe I am saying it myself. But, it is true.
I commute 45 minutes each way now and while I do not loathe
it, it really is time that I wish to be doing something else. I am a true Rhode Islander in that I do not want
to drive more than 20 minutes each way to go to work. By this rule, I am spending 45 minutes a day
in the car that could be put to much better use. And, truth be told, I am a horrible
driver. So, the thought of spending
hours a day in the car makes me want to run the other way.
This job would also mean living apart from my husband for a
year while he waits for a transfer from his job which is just too good to
leave. We thought some of that might be
fun. Give us each our own space and then
we would be together on the weekends. It
would be like we were dating again! But,
a year is a long time. And I don’t want
to move into the house we will buy together alone. It seems unfair to my husband to ask him to
make that kind of sacrifice, even if it is only short term. By the time he moves in permanently, it would
be like he was an addition and not part of the process. We have worked too hard for that.
And, I know it is only an hour or two away, but it does not
seem like the right time to make a major move.
How can I learn more about me when I am in the midst of a major life
change and learning a new job. Granted,
I have done it on several occasions before, but this time is different. If I truly want to establish who I am outside
of my career, I cannot do it while immersing myself wholly into a new venture
in my career. It is an ugly catch-22. All of this thought, and I have not even been
offered an interview-never mind a position!
But it has clarified one thing. I
am not running away. I am running
towards something new.
I am confident that big opportunities are heading my
way. Opportunities that I will take whole
heartedly and with more enthusiasm than you could ever imagine. However, if I want to capitalize on them to
the fullest, I need to do the work on myself first. I am looking at this as a year-long process,
but my instincts tell me that big things will start happening in about 6 months
if I do the work and stay diligent.
I do not know why this is the case. It is just what my instincts say. At that point, I believe that I will have a
better idea of what I want my long-term picture to look like as far as personal
life and professional life. And, I will
be in a much better place to embrace it.
It may not even be a professional opportunity that is the next big thing
on the horizon-go figure! But, I will
not be able to figure anything if I just jump on the first ship because it
pulled into dock.
So, there it is. My decision
to step away from making any major career moves at the moment has been of
intention and not fear. As I sit and
reread what I have written, I am more sure than ever. Do you know what the best part is? I love my job so there is no sacrifice here
whatsoever. I get to keep doing work I love
with peers I love while I figure out what drives me and who I want to be. Until then, I have the benefit of working
with great people who inspire me to do great things. At least I know that even while I am stepping
off of the fast track roller coaster for a few months they have my back. And that brings us back to our regularly scheduled
programming, folks. No more work talk
for awhile. I have some soul searching
to do and the work train has left the station.
Have you passed on an opportunity that would have been great
professionally, but not personally? How
do you feel about it looking back? Let
me know if the comments. I can’t wait to
hear your stories!
Mis
